作品名：A TREKKIE'S TALE
作者：Paula Smith
中文譯者：Marla
"Gee, golly, gosh, gloriosky," thought Mary Sue as she stepped on the bridge of the Enterprise. "Here I am, the youngest lieutenant in the fleet - only fifteen and a half years old." Captain Kirk came up to her. "Oh, Lieutenant, I love you madly. Will you come to bed with me?" "Captain! I am not that kind of girl!" "You're right, and I respect you for it. Here, take over the ship for a minute while I go get some coffee for us." Mr. Spock came onto the bridge. "What are you doing in the command seat, Lieutenant?" "The Captain told me to." "Flawlessly logical. I admire your mind."
Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy and Mr. Scott beamed down with Lt. Mary Sue to Rigel XXXVII. They were attacked by green androids and thrown into prison. In a moment of weakness Lt. Mary Sue revealed to Mr. Spock that she too was half Vulcan. Recovering quickly, she sprung the lock with her hairpin and they all got away back to the ship.
But back on board, Dr. McCoy and Lt. Mary Sue found out that the men who had beamed down were seriously stricken by the jumping cold robbies , Mary Sue less so. While the four officers languished in Sick Bay, Lt. Mary Sue ran the ship, and ran it so well she received the Nobel Peace Prize, the Vulcan Order of Gallantry and the Tralfamadorian Order of Good Guyhood.
However the disease finally got to her and she fell fatally ill. In the Sick Bay as she breathed her last, she was surrounded by Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, and Mr. Scott, all weeping unashamedly at the loss of her beautiful youth and youthful beauty, intelligence, capability and all around niceness. Even to this day her birthday is a national holiday of the Enterprise.
這是著名的瑪麗蘇的出處，看完沒在網上找到滿意的翻譯，就自己試了一下，考據黨、語法納粹請輕拍。
Disclaimer：Star trek不是我的，這篇蘇文也不是我的（感謝上帝），我只是翻譯了一下，請不要告我。謝謝。
（科普：此文是star trek的同人。star trek乃米國的著名科幻作品之一，影響力長達50年之久。大概就是一個架空宇宙設定，男主kirk（……）是一個星艦的船長，spock是大副，McCoy是醫生。這三個人是故事中的鐵三角。下文中瓦肯等皆是ST中的種族，瓦肯的特點是充滿邏輯（……）不，崇尚邏輯。最後，這是一篇偽蘇（……）是的，它是一篇偽蘇。是這個作者為了吐槽那些姑娘們寫的文就像是交稿前一秒結尾的一樣而寫就的。但它的確是第一篇提出（？？）這個概念的文）
祝，觀看快樂。
A TREKKIE'S TALEBy Paula Smith
“上帝，佛祖、玉皇大帝啊, 這裡多麼輝煌壯麗，”瑪麗蘇在登上進取號艦橋上如此想到。“我是艦隊裡最年輕的上尉，年僅15歲半。”
Kirk船長來到她身邊。“噢，上尉，我瘋狂地愛上了你。願意跟我滾床單麼？”
“船長！我可不是那種女人（一般人不給cao）！”
“你說得有道理，為此我尊重你。來，我去給咱倆拿杯咖啡，你看著飛船。”
Spock先生來到艦橋。“上尉，為什麼是你在指揮飛船？”
“船長讓我指揮的。”
“完美無瑕的邏輯。我欣賞你的思想。”
Kirk船長，Spock先生，McCoy醫生和Scott先生同瑪麗蘇一起被傳送到Rigel XXXVII[1]。他們被太空小綠人襲擊並被關進監獄。瑪麗蘇一時意志薄弱，向Spock先生洩露了自己是瓦肯混血的秘密。隨後她迅速恢復了堅定的信念，用自己的髮卡捅開了牢門並帶領大家回到飛船上。在船上，McCoy醫生和瑪麗蘇發現傳送到下面的人（讀作：男人）都得了嚴重的疾病[2],只有瑪麗蘇沒事。當四個大男人都盤桓在醫務室飽受折磨，瑪麗蘇上尉擔起了開船大任，她把船開得如此之好以至於她得了諾貝爾和平獎，瓦肯英勇獎以及特拉法瑪多[3]大好人獎。遺憾的是，疾病終於降臨到瑪麗蘇頭上，她病入膏肓，在醫務室奄奄一息。她臨終之時，Kirk船長，Spock先生，McCoy醫生和Scott先生都圍在他床邊，毫不害臊地為她的終將逝去的青春的美麗和美麗的青春嚎啕不已，當然還有她的智勇雙全和溫和親切。直至今日，她的生日還是進取號上的法定節假日。完